An Anniversary

We are in the midst of the bathroom remodel this September 11th. It's an anniversary that feels very strange to me because of how different my life is from 10 years ago.

My Dad was passing through town this weekend and when he turned on the television, I was like a chicken after dark. I couldn't move. I just stood in front of the TV while MSNBC re-aired the live coverage of that day. I stood frozen for about 30 minutes, until I realized that I had never seen what NBC, or any network, aired that day.

It's weird to write about it - like I was affected. I wasn't in that way. I didn't lose anyone dear to me (though I knew lots of people who did). But I lived there. It was my city - and I loved it. I was working for a major cable news network during that time and I remember not having a normal life after 9/11. I also remember my family being incredibly concerned that I was 3000 miles away and they couldn't protect me. I remember missing my best friend's wedding (she got married on September 15th - on the other side of the country a few hours after they lifted the NY airports ground stop). I remember having anxiety attacks for the first time in my life.

There were a lot of bad things that happened around that time - but there were also some good things.

I saw a side of New Yorkers that I never thought I'd see, I made some of the most important decisions of my life, and I made my closest friends.

Today was a very unexpected reflection. I often think about that time in my life - but rarely all at once - and the thoughts never freeze me in my tracks. I talked to my dad about my life during that time, what I was thinking and feeling and my experience. I don't think he'd really ever heard my stories before. He's glad I'm home now - and I am too.

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